Kutheni lomdwebo?
Ukuxoshwa ephupheni kungenye yezinto ezibuhlungu kakhulu nezidala ingqondo elele ezikhiqizayo. Inhliziyo yakho iyashaya, imilenze yakho izwakala isinda noma ihamba kancane ngendlela engenakwenzeka, futhi umxoshi — noma ngabe umuntu, isilwane, isithunzi esifiphele, noma ubukhona obungenagama — akakubambi ngokuphelele kodwa akasali ngemuva. Iphupho lokuxoshwa alihambisani nomxoshi. Lihambisana nokuthi yini oyibalekelayo empilweni yakho ephapheme. Ubunikazi bomxoshi buvame ukuba yisihluthulelo: umuntu owaziwayo usikisela ukungqubuzana okungaxazululiwe nalowo muntu; isilwane sikhomba ukwesaba okungokwemvelo noma izifiso ezicindezelwe; isithunzi esingenabuso simelela ingxenye yakho oyilahlekelwe. Indawo nayo ibalulekile. Ukuxoshwa emigwaqweni ejwayelekile kusho ukuthi usongo luhlezi empilweni yakho yansuku zonke. Ukuxoshwa endaweni engaziwa kusikisela ukuthi ukukhathazeka kuhambisana nendawo engajwayelekile ophoqelelwa ukungena kuyo. Ukwakheka komzwelo wokuxoshwa — ukwesaba, ukukhungatheka, ukukhathala, ukungahloniphi — kuhambisana ngqo nokuthi uzizwa kanjani ngalokho okugwemayo emahoreni akho okuphapheme. Abantu abaningi abalokothi baphenduke emaphusheni okuxoshwa ngoba iphethini lokugwema lijule kakhulu kangangokuthi ngisho nasebuthongweni, ukubhekana kuzwakala kungenakwenzeka.
Izindlela ezihlukahlukene
- Ukuxoshwa umuntu ongaziwa noma isithunzi esifihliwe kumelela ingxenye yakho engaziwa — isifiso, ukwesaba, ikhono, noma iqiniso — onqaba ukubhekana nalo. Imaski noma ukungaziwa kukhombisa ukuthi awukakahlonzi ukuthi yini le ngxenye. Iphupho liyaphindaphinda ngoba ingxenye elahliwe ayiyeki ukuba khona ngoba nje unqaba ukuyibuka. Izoqhubeka ikuxosha uze uphenduke.
- Ukuxoshwa isilwane kuxhuma emvelweni wakho wemvelo. Impisi noma isilwane esizingelayo sisikisela ulaka olucindezelwe noma ukuzimisela okudinga ukuvezwa. Inyoka ikhombisa ukwesaba okufihliwe noma amandla aguqukayo owamelanayo. Izinambuzane noma izindlala zikhomba ukukhathazeka okuningi okuncane okuqoqana kube usongo olukhulu olukhulu. Isilwane esithile sithwala isisindo saso esingokomfanekiso umfundi wengqondo angakwazi ukusichaza.
- Ukuxoshwa kodwa imilenze yakho inganyakazi — umuzwa wakudala wemilenze esindayo — kudalula ukuthi uyazi ukuthi yini okufanele uyenze ngesimo osigwemayo, kodwa uzizwa ukhubazekile ngenxa yokwesaba, isibopho, noma ukungabaza. Ukunganyakazi akuyona into engokomzimba; ukukhubazeka ngokomzwelo komuntu obona indlela yokuphuma kodwa engakwazi ukuzihambela ngayo.
- Ukuxoshwa nokuthola indawo yokucasha esebenza okwesikhashana kukhombisa ukuthi isu lakho lokubhekana — ukugwema, ukwenqaba, ukuphazamisa, ukusebenza ngokweqile — lisasebenza, kodwa iphupho likuxwayisa ukuthi indawo yokucasha inosuku lokuphelelwa yisikhathi. Noma yini oyigwemayo izokuthola ekugcineni. Ukukhululeka okwesikhashana ephupheni kubonisa ukukhululeka okwesikhashana izindlela zakho zokubhekana ezikunikezayo.
- Ukuphenduka ubhekane nomxoshi nokuphela kokuxoshwa kungenye yezixazululo zamaphupho ezinamandla kakhulu. Lapho kwenzeka ngokuzenzakalelayo, kukhombisa ukuthi ususondela ekulungeleni ukubhekana nanoma yini obuyigwema. Abanye abaphuphayo babika ukuthi umxoshi uyancipha, uguquke, noma uyanyamalala lapho ebhekene naye — kudalula ukuthi into owesabayo yayigcinwa ngokuphelele ngesenzo sokubalekela yona.
Okuhungisiwe okuthunyelwa
Umfundi wengqondo angakwazi ukuhlonza isimo sempilo esithile, ubudlelwano, noma ukungqubuzana kwangaphakathi okudala amaphupho akho okuxoshwa ngokunemba okungavamile ukutholwa ukuzihlaziya. Bafunda uphawu lwamandla lomxoshi futhi bangakutshela ukuthi ubalekela amandla omuntu, ubuntu bakho obumnyama, isikweletu se-karma, noma ubizo olungokomoya obulokhu ulumelana nalo. Ngamaphupho okuxoshwa aphindaphindayo ahlala iminyaka, umfundi wengqondo angakwazi ukulandelela iphethini emthonjeni walo — okungase kube ngaphambi kwempilo yakho yamanje — futhi adalule ukuthi yini okufanele ibhekanwe nayo ukuze ukuxoshwa kuphele ekugcineni.
Okudinga ukwenziwa okulandelayo
Ngokuzayo lapho uhlangabezana nephupho lokuxoshwa, bhala phansi yonke imininingwane mayelana nomxoshi: isimo, isivinini, umsindo, ikhwalithi yomzwelo. Bese wenza uhlu lwakho konke empilweni yakho ephapheme obukugwema, ukuhlehlisa, noma ukwenqaba ukukubhekana nakho. Bheka ukufana ngokomzwelo phakathi komxoshi wephupho nesimo sangempela somhlaba. Umfundi wamaphupho wengqondo ku-inthanethi angakwazi ukuqinisekisa noma ukushintsha incazelo yakho futhi anikeze isiqondiso sokuthi ungabhekana kanjani nalokho okuxoshayo ngokuphepha nangokukhiqizayo.